I wrote as I watched, in real time, the events of that day unfold. This article originally appeared on the website spirituality.com on September 11, 2001.
Interior dialogue, September 11, 2001
I’m watching New York. Seeing the buildings come down. Listening to the commentators. Dan Rather quotes Edmund R. Morrow: “No one can terrorize a whole nation unless we are his accomplices.”
I refuse to be complicit in a conspiracy of hatred. I refuse to add a shred of fuel to the fire and devastation.
I have recourse to the primordial energy that launched the universe. That’s Love. I can’t afford – for my own safety and for that of my country – to go anywhere else. I cannot allow one thought of blame and recrimination, revenge or retribution to weasel its way into the borders of my thinking. I must fill every crevice with love. It’s the only way I can be effective.
This HUGE negative energy reverberating in crashes and and explosions across the country must be neutralized. Here and now. It cannot be neutralized by more negative energy. So I HAVE to respond with love – and more love – and more love. I have to pour it in. Be that love in action. I desperately need to love. It’s the only way I can be totally safe. It’s the only effective help I can be – here so far removed from the physical scene. It’s got to start here and now. Right in my thinking. This hatred, uncontrolled temper, rabid anger will NOT find a like response in me.
Please, Father-Mother God. Help me do this. It’s not something that’s humanly possible. That kind of love can only come from you. Please, just make me transparent so Your love can shine through.
I continue to watch the news. President Bush just spoke with disdain of a “faceless” coward. Spoke of the need to hunt the attackers down and punish them.
I have to ask from the depths of me – HOW? How do you “punish” someone who has already blown himself to smithereens?
A faceless enemy coming from nowhere is the essence of my worst nightmares. But what do I do if I DO come face to face with the terror – or the terrorist? Do I transform myself into a like image – something even more horrible, fearful and diabolical in order to crush him completely? To do so would hand terror the victory.
Keep me sweet, dear God. Do not let my enemy mold me to his image. The only arms I want are Yours, wrapped around me, around all. I will open these arms of mine, stretching to match my reach to Yours. I know Your power is behind me when I do this.